I just finished reading the second of a series of books written by Thomas E. Sniegorski titled, "The Fallen."
The Fallen is the story about a young man named Aaron Corbett.
Aaron Corbett learns on his 18th birthday that he is a Nephilim, the child of a human/angel pairing and that he is being pursued by a group of angels called the Powers.
The Powers believe that all Nephilim are an abomination and affront to God.
However, there is a prophecy that a Nephilim will be born that will redeem the Fallen, (Wikipedia, 2012).
At one point in the story, Lucifer or Morningstar, finds himself in a situation where he and the Fallen who followed after him begin to contemplate the idea that perhaps God could forgive them for turning against Him and waging the war in Heaven.
I remember thinking to myself as I read that part of the book, "No way! God forgive Satan? Everything that I have been programmed to believe goes against the very idea -- forgiveness for Satan? Just not going to happen."
Then I remembered something; something I had not thought about since my childhood.
I was a young boy, probably all of five, six, or seven. I Cannot say for certain. I remember I was alone. I was at the old house on Francisquito Avenue (West Covina, CA), when I began experiencing a God moment.
I started thinking about the whole idea of forgiveness and whether or not forgiveness could ever apply to the devil.
I remember becoming very emotional at the idea that Satan, once the most favored of all of God's angels could never again know God's love, mercy, light, etc., because he could never be forgiven for the sins He committed against God.
The very idea of not obtaining God's forgiveness; spending an eternity without God broke my heart.
At that point I even felt sadness for the devil.
Forgiveness for me, I believe, isthe key to God's love. God's complete love.
Sometime in the early 90's I attended a lecture at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Roman Catholic Church (Rowland Heights, CA), with my mother and her sister Margaret.
I recall mother mentioning that a special missionary Catholic priest was going to speak. I do not recall if I was aware of (in advance) that this missionary was going to speak on the topic of forgiveness.
Let me set up the story ....
Prior to attending that lecture I was having great difficulty with the whole concept of forgiveness.
In my book, Baltimore Monday: A Celebration of Life beyond Sexual Abuse, (2006, Signature Print), I wrote that I was having trouble forgiving those men who had sexually molested me as a child.
In reality it was not those men that I was having difficulty forgiving. It was myself and my family whom I could not forgive.
It is true that I was angry at the world; mainly with my family more so than I was with the men who sexually molested me. I was angry because I believed that I did not matter to my family. In my mind I believed that my only reason for my continued existence was because it was a sin to have an abortion or to take a human life.
What did that mean?
I believed that were it not a sin it would have been easier for my parents to be rid of me then to keep a child around that they did not love or want.
That is what I allowed myself to believe, however, it was the furthest from the truth. Mom and dad loved me. They loved my siblings. i just did not feel loved at the time.
My feeling like a freak had more to do with my lack of feeling loved than with being sexually molested or having same-sex attraction (although that presented an entirely different bag of worms that I will discuss in another posting).
The problem was me.
My heart and mind were in two distinct and separate places back then; totally not in sync with each other. As a result, I truly believed that forgiveness, as with Satan, was beyond my reach. God could no more forgive me (I thought), then He would forgive Satan.
As I sat in the church pew listening to the missionary priest speak it was not until he began speaking about forgiveness that he caught my attention. Here is what he said that was of particular importance to me; the words that changed my life ...
"How can you say that you love God, if you cannot return His love unconditionally? How can you ask God for forgiveness, when you are unwilling to forgive?"
I knew in that instant that if my life were going to change; if I was going to follow through with God's plan(s) for my life; if I was going to become a difference maker, I had to start by making a difference and that meant forgiving unconditionally, just as I had been challenged to love in the same way.
It was at that moment that God was challenging me to forgive those men who molested me, but that I was not to stop there. God was further challenging me to forgive the very people whom I thought I could not forgive -- my family, more importantly, myself.
Love is not always easy to extend. Forgiveness is even more difficult. However, if we truly desire as believers to spend our eternity living it up with God and His peeps (I say that with no disrespect intended), then we need to forgive because we love, and love because we can forgive ... unconditionally.
As for Satan and the Fallen?
Only God can make that call. I would not dare to presume to know the heart and mind of my Creator and whom he can and cannot forgive.
What I can say without equivocation is that in my heart of hearts, my ability to forgive is in direct proportion to my love for God.
To say that I love God means that I must love you (unconditionally).
To ask God's forgiveness means that I must also forgive you (and myself), unconditionally.
Now go out and forgive but keep it between you and God.
